


AKA Forward Momentum

by for_t2



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Guilt, Heroism, Hope vs. Despair, Hydra (Marvel), Post-Canon, Redemption, The Raft Prison (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 15:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19337326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/for_t2/pseuds/for_t2
Summary: Trish learns about redemption, with a little help from Jess





	AKA Forward Momentum

“You’re not supposed to be here.” 

Jess shrugs in the cold plastic chair. “I don’t give a shit.” 

“You can’t be here. You’re a…” 

“A hero?” Jess shrugs again. “I know.”

“But… Why?” 

“Because,” Jess answers, “I give a shit. About you.” 

Trish keeps her eyes on the hard metal table, on the handcuffs chained around her wrists and legs. “I don’t think I’m ready.” 

***** 

“You’re still here.” 

“I told you,” Jess’s stare never leaves Trish, waiting, “I give a shit.” 

“You shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” Jess leans forward over the table. “Because you’re a murderer? Because you killed my mother?” Her voice trembles with anger. “Because you tried to kill me?” 

“Yes.” 

Her voice sounds so small that it just pisses Jess off even more. “For fuck’s sake, Trish!” She slams a fist into the table hard enough to leave a dent, hard enough for the guards to come rushing. 

“I’m the bad guy.” 

Jess scoffs as the guards lead her away. “Being a hero isn’t just stopping the bad guy.” 

***** 

The next time, Trish refuses to leave her cell. 

***** 

“Go away.” 

There are a lot of things you can do to Jessica Jones, but one thing you shouldn’t do is give her a reason to be stubborn. “No.” 

“I’m not asking.”

“Neither am I.” 

“It’s illegal for you to be here.” 

“I made some deals.” 

For the first time, Trish looks up. “You shouldn’t’ve.” She looks absolutely furious, but it’s good. It means she’s still alive. That she still cares. 

***** 

That night, Trish doesn’t sleep at all.

***** 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Jess?” 

Jess shrugs. 

“Do you know what…” If Trish could punch Jess right now, she would. “Making deals never works out.” 

Jess shrugs again. 

“Please. Listen to me, Jess.” If Trish could get down on her knees and beg, she would. “It’s not worth it. It’s…” If she could stop the tear from rolling down her cheek, she would. “Jess.” 

“I didn’t do a deal with…” Jess gestures at the prison around them. “Them. I gave a few of those idiots in costumes a hand. They owed me a few favours. That’s it.” 

“Promise me.” 

“Promise,” Jess replies. That makes it a little easier for Trish to stop the next tear. Makes it a little easier for Jess to say what she has to. “The world hasn’t stopped, you know.” 

“Is it…” And she looks so terrified of the answers Jess knows she knows it already. “Is it getting better?”

Jess never could lie to Trish. “No.” 

***** 

That night, Trish wonders for the first time whether being sent to prison really was the best decision. Whether Jess was right. 

That night, Trish remembers the blood on her hands. Remembers Jess’s blood. 

That morning, Trish realises she has no idea how to make it better. 

***** 

Silence. 

“If you’re not going to talk, I’m going to have to,” Jess starts. “And you know I’m pretty shit at conversation.”  
Silence. 

“So, I was doing this case yesterday.” Jess leans across the table to get closer to Trish. “Some dumbass lawyer that Malcom… Malcolm’s in charge now. Can you fucking believe that? Anyways…” 

***** 

That night, Trish feels regret. Not the type of guilt that consumes you until you can’t think or feel anymore, but the type that hits you so clearly, so singularly, you know. You know what you’ve lost, what you’re missing, what you will miss. The type that makes you know you have to be better. 

***** 

“I’m sorry.” 

Jess waits. 

“I’m so sorry.” It seems so inadequate, but what else can she say? “I’m so so sorry.” 

“I know.” 

“What can I do to make it better?” Because even when Jess doesn’t have the answers, she’ll be able to get them. Because if Jess doesn’t know, how is Trish supposed to do any of this?

“I don’t know.” 

*****

That night, Trish realises that redemption is she has to do. Redemption means she’s the one that has to find the answers.

***** 

“I think we should talk.” 

This time, it’s Jess’s turn to look a little worried. “Yeah. I think we should.” 

“I think…” Trish starts. Stumbles over her words. “I was wrong. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing. My mother’s dead, and… Your mother’s dead, and Sallinger’s dead and… I feel dead. I feel dirty. And I feel like I don’t know and…” She needs a moment to catch her breath. “And… Maybe you could recommend a good therapist?” 

It’s enough to make Jess speechless. Until the irony hits her. The absurdity of the situation. She can’t help put let out a snort. And Trish can’t help let out a chuckle. Then neither of them can stop laughing.

That day, Trish realises that redemption means letting yourself love other people. It means not being afraid of loving them. 

***** 

“Thank you.” 

Jess shrugs. 

Trish doesn’t know who Jess new friends are, but they must be pretty damn important. The Raft is where bad guys go to rot, but somehow, it doesn’t feel that way for Trish. Somehow, Jess got them to make an exception. Somehow, Jess found her a therapist. 

“It’s been helpful,” Trish says, and it has. 

“You look good.”

“You do too,” Trish answers, and she’s promised to herself to never lie to Jess again. Jess looks better than she has in years – happier, freer, more comfortable, just… happier. 

“I quit drinking,” Jess smiles when she says that, and it’s so beautiful Trish thinks she’s going to cry. “Malcom’s been good. Gillian’s been… Gillian, which is good. They said to say hi.” 

Trish does cry. When Jess walks over and hugs her, it’s the happiest Trish has ever felt. When Jess sends a death glare, the guards decide they’d rather keep their arms than get between the two, and Trish realises that redemption letting other people love you. 

***** 

“You never told me what those favours were.” 

“It’s nothing.” Jess shifts. Little enough that most people would miss it, but more than enough for Trish to spot it. “Just dumb cases. A couple aliens, and shit like that. Punching Nazis was fun, at least.” 

“And…?” Trish asks because she knows Jess is leaving something out.

“And.” 

“And…?” 

“And…” Jess half grinds her teeth, half-blushes. “She said it would be good for me. She kinda made me… I kinda had to agree to… go… go out on a date with some loser.” 

If Trish’s eyebrows could touch the ceiling, they would. “Who?” 

“The…” Jess avoids Trish’s eyes. “The ant guy.” 

“I hope you had fun.” 

“Well,” Jess starts. Looks Trish in the eye. “You know me.”

“You didn’t.” 

At some point during the date, some part of Jess thought it would be a good idea to ask if Scott ever beat a bad guy by flying round back and making them go pop. Carol was not amused. Jess still ended up going home with her that night. Trish thinks it’s so typically Jess that it’s downright charming. 

That day, Trish realises that redemption means the world isn’t black-and-white. That’s nobody’s perfect. 

***** 

“Carol made me a promise.” 

“She did?” Trish asks, and she hopes she doesn’t have to be scared. “What was it?” 

“Are you ready?”

***** 

That night, Trish tells herself redemption isn’t something you can rush. 

And she’s right. 

***** 

It takes time, but it happens. When it does, Trish holds Jess’s hand so tight, Jess asks her if she developed superstrength. Redemption is scary. 

When it does, Trish blinks because it’s been so long since she’s last seen the Sun. Redemption is beautiful. 

When it does, Trish almost turns back. Because redemption isn’t obvious. But she doesn’t. Because Jess is there and Jess loves her. Because she loves Jess. Because that’s something that should never stop. 

Redemption never ends. But it’s fucking worth it.


End file.
